Coming soon!
Hello blog readers!
I just wanted to throw up a post to say hi, and let you know of some exciting blog posts, coming your way by the end of December:
- A beautiful at home wedding, including some fun Italian rituals, that the couple put together in two weeks!
- A wedding ceremony that included a candle lighting ceremony, a foot washing, and was grounded in light, service, and the couple’s open discourse and pursuit of knowledge.
- A breakdown of Eclectic Union’s first full year of weddings! And a sneak peek at what is going on for 2010!
- Delicious photos of the cake served at Dan and my engagement party last weekend
- Information on the charities I gave back to this year, thanks to my couples.
So you’ve got lots to look forward to! I’m taking a brief vacation this weekend, but should be back in action early next week. I hope your holidays and wedding plans are going well!
Wedding: Nicole & Sinan
Nicole and Sinan were married at the Warwick, in Philadelphia, PA in mid-October. Nicole found me through Weddingbee, and I was more than happy to make the trip down to Philly for her wedding ceremony. Nicole is American and Jewish, and Sinan is Turkish and Muslim, so I worked with them to create a multi-cultural ceremony with a few elements that reflected each of their backgrounds – combined with their incredibly Love Story and lots of laughter.
A few days before the wedding, Nicole emailed me and said that there was a Turkish tradition they wanted to include – the bestowing of jewelry on the bride! Just after being declared husband and wife, the groom’s family were invited up to the chuppah, where they SHOWERED Nicole in beautiful jewelry (gold is traditional). Necklaces, rings, bracelets, and earrings were presented from her new in-laws. It was a wonderful way to show their happiness and excitement to welcome Nicole into their family!
- Click to see bigger!
The couple was married under a chuppah, the Jewish wedding canopy, and this was the explanation I gave:
Our bride and groom stand under the Jewish marriage canopy, the chuppah. This represents the home that they will create and share in their married life. Just as Sinan and Nicole are opening their hearts to each other today, so are the sides of the chuppah open, to let in the love of their beloved guests today. So will their home always be open to all of you. The heart of every home is the family the resides within – today, our couple will become each other’s family.
We included two other Jewish elements – the breaking of the glass at the end, and bestowing the couple with (non-religious) seven blessings at the end of the ceremony. The Seven Blessings are a favorite of mine to include in an interfaith or non-religious wedding with Jewish elements, because, though the ones I have written capture the ideas of the original Seven Blessings, they are much more about seven ideals or thoughts that I hope my couples keep in their marriage together. They don’t mention God, or a higher diety, but are still a nice Jewish touchstone to include in the ceremony – and a wonderful way to conclude it as well!
Dan and I had so much fun with our mini-road trip down to Philadelphia, and I was so happy that I got to meet Nicole and Sinan (one of the rare times I don’t meet the bride and the groom prior to the wedding!) and be a part of their incredible day. Congratulations again!
What are you thankful for?
This year, I’m thankful for a lot of things.
I’m thankful for my kitties, who bring so much love and joy and cuddles into my life every single day.
- Maeby and Friday, the cutest kitties around
I’m thankful for my awesome fiance, who listens to me, supports me, and always brings me cold glasses of water when I’m working.
- Dan and I
I’m thankful for my family and friends, especially my mom, who is the most giving and generous person I’ve ever met (and it’s her birthday tomorrow, too!), and my best friend Lindsey, who helps me to find my way through the world.
- My mom and I at her wedding.
- Lindsey and I on her wedding day
I’m thankful for every couple who emails me, calls me up to chat about their wedding, meets with me, and those with invite me to be a part of their wedding day. Because of you, I get to follow my dreams, which is just about the coolest thing ever. Thanks for choosing me as your wedding officiant!
- Giant Wedding Collage! Click to take a better look!
Enjoy your Thanksgiving (I’m so excited to make the stuffing this year – my favorite!), and take a moment to think of the moments this year that have taken your breathe away – and the reasons you are thankful, too.
Wedding: Cathleen & Matt
Cathleen and Matt were married at the spectacular Highlawn Pavilion in West Orange, NJ in late September.
It was a beautiful, sunny day. Their ceremony was sweet, funny, and meaningful, and included this reading, from Plato’s Symposium (a great non-religious reading!):
Humans have never understood the power of Love, for if they had they would surely have built noble temples and altars and offered solemn sacrifices; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done, since Love is our best friend, our helper, and the healer of the ills which prevent us from being happy.
To understand the power of Love, we must understand that our original human nature was not like it is now, but different. Human beings each had two sets of arms, two sets of legs, and two faces looking in opposite directions. Due to the power and might of these original humans, the Gods began to fear that their reign might be threatened. They sought for a way to end the humans’ insolence without destroying them.
It was at this point that Zeus divided the humans in half. After the division the two parts of each desiring their other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of humankind.
Each of us when separated, having one side only, is but the indenture of a person, and we are always looking for our other half. And when one of us meets our other half, we are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight even for a moment. We pass our whole lives together, desiring that we should be melted into one, to spend our lives as one person instead of two, and so that after our death there will be one departed soul instead of two; this is the very expression of our ancient need. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called Love.
Cathleen and Matt, thanks for letting me be a part of your wedding!
Wedding: Rachel & Brian
There are so many things that I love about being a Celebrant, but I think my favorite is that I get to officiate my friend’s weddings.
Rachel is a college friend of mine – we worked together on many shows, drank a lot of wine, and basically had an awesome time. Brian was kind of “the one that got away” for Rachel – they met in high school (where they had mutual crushes on each other!) and kept in touch afterwards. But it took everyone being in the right place at the right time for them to actually make it work as couple – which they do amazingly. Knowing Rachel pre-Brian – he just brings out the best in her, and I am so glad they found each other.
- Click to see bigger!
They were married at the Nassau Inn, in Princeton, NJ on Halloween (yes, Halloween! Apple cider and cider donuts were served before the ceremony, and pumpkins were everywhere – but no costumes!)
Their ceremony was short, simple, sweet, and funny. I opened with a journal entry Rachel wrote in high school, about how Brian was her new “love interest,” and shared the rest of the journey that had brought them to their wedding today. They chose simple vows, saying “I do” and “I will” at the appropriate times, and broke a glass at the end, too. It was a ceremony of laughter and happiness, and I tried to capture the joy and love that they have found in each other.
It was an emotional day, for everyone (even me! I almost cried during the ceremony!), but I was so happy with their ceremony, and I think they were also. Rachel and Brian, you guys have all of my love – have a safe trip home today!!
Wedding: Robin & Anthony
This was a rockstar wedding.
Robin and Anthony were married at the incredible Landmark Loew’s Jersey City Theatre – an old fashioned classic movie palace that first opened in 1929. The inside is beautiful, ornate, and lush, and the perfect backdrop for a Grammy themed wedding. The rock and roll details were incredible, and everywhere – the bride and groom posed for portraits on a grand piano, their guest book was a guitar that everyone signed, their card box was a guitar case, propped open with a cardboard sign of “Will Play for Gifts.” The flower girls (sorry, the Rock Princesses!) threw custom guitar picks before the bride and groom made their grand entrance. So freaking awesome.
The bride and groom wanted a simple ceremony, with their vows as the real centerpiece. I shared their Love Story, which is truly one for the books: they were acquaintances in high school, running in the same circles with mutual friends, but nothing more. But, nearly twenty years later, they met up again, when a mutual friend put them in touch – and it was love at second sight. From that moment, just a year before their wedding, Robin and Anthony knew they were going to spend the rest of their lives together!
Their guitar pick favors, that the Rock Princesses threw as they walked down the aisle from skull baskets!
The Rock Princesses!
Their processional was nothing short of awesome. Each bridal party member had their own theme music, with the DJ announcing them as they walked in. VIPs were seated to the side, with the rest of the guests cheering and standing behind a velvet rope. Right before Anthony walked in with his parents, his friend walked and performed a guitar solo on a glittering electric guitar, to AC/DC’s “Back in Black.”
The Ring Man presents the ring on a drumstick.
And the vows? Robin and Anthony each wrote their own vows, and Robin, who is a big crier, did a fabulous job holding it together for them (with her Best Chick and sister standing close by for support). And Anthony – well his vows were in the form of a song, which he song, accompanied on acoustic guitar. A surprise for everyone – an incredible emotional and powerful moment.
Not many couples can say they get their names up in lights at their wedding, and Robin and Anthony’s rockstar wedding truly reflected who they were, in every single way. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of it (and sharing these awesome photos with me!)
Their guestbook guitar, with a copy of their invite tickets!
Recent Reviews on Project Wedding!
Including Rituals in Your Ceremony: Sand Unity Ceremony
I thought I would take a few posts to write about the various unity ceremonies that can be included in wedding ceremonies. There are not only so many wonderful rituals and traditions that you can include – but there are so many variations on each of them.
Let’s start with one of my favorites, the sand unity ceremony.
In this ceremony, the bride and groom pour sand into a central vessel, to represent the many aspects of their lives coming together – and their marriage and lives will be as hard to break apart as it would be to separate the many grains of sand.
How It Works
We have the props set up on a small table at the front, which is usually directly behind where I am standing during the ceremony. When it is time for the ceremony (usually at the end, just before the closing remarks and after the ring vows), the couple separates, each standing on one side of the table. Depending on the room, I either go to stand behind the table, or I’ll go stand in front, slightly off-center, near the groomsmen.
Usually, there are two vials of colored sand, with a central (empty) vessel. Sometimes, we will have a third color (if they’re incorporating kids in the ceremony, they’ll have their own color, or can pour their parent’s color, for step-families).
If the couple wanted to include their family or parents, I invite them up, to stand on each side. If we’re including kids, they’ll stand near their relevant color. I then introduce the ceremony, and explain the meaning and relevance of the sand.
Our couple stands before two vessels of colored sand. These represent their lives as separate individuals, and separate families. Each one holds its own unique beauty, strength, and character. They can stand on their own and be whole, without need of anything else. However, when these sands are blended together, they create an entirely new and extraordinarily more intricate entity. Each grain of sand brings to the mixture a lasting beauty that forever enriches the combination.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be a molding of two individual personalities, bonding together and forming one heart and one life.
At this point, I ask the parents/family members/kids to pour a single layer of their sand, to represent the base of support and love they have for the couple. They are then seated.
Then the couple pours their layers, individually, to represent their prior lives and the retention of their own unique-ness as they are joined together in marriage.
And then, to symbolize their marriage, the couple pours the remaining sand together, mingling the two colors. If the couple has children or step-children they want to really incorporate into the ritual, they’ll often pour their sand at the same time as the couple as well, mingling all of their colors together.
If the wedding is on a beach, or there is some relevant sand the couple has provided, I’ll then “seal” the top, by pouring a layer of this sand, and mentioning its meaning.
Here is a very poor diagram to give you an idea of the layers:
I love this ritual because, afterwards, you have a beautiful sand sculpture to keep! I did a wedding last summer that was smaller, and, a year to the day, they had a big vow renewal, and poured new layers onto the sand – a beautiful way to symbolize their first year of marriage.
Pouring the sand, the first year.
Parents pouring the first layers of the sand, a year later.
Where do you get the sand?
There are tons of places to buy unity sand ceremony sets (you can get even get fancy and get them engraved!) online. They even match them to David’s Bridal and Alfred Angelo colors, if you want to be super coordinated! I’ve also found beautiful sparkly colored sand at craft stores (check out the floral department, it’s often used for filler in vases for arrangements, or in the wedding section, or in the kid’s section [for play sand]), and even some bridal stores are beginning to carry it.
And make sure that you bring something to cover the vase up with, so it doesn’t get too jostled on the way home, if you intend to keep it. You can pour a layer of melted wax (from a candle or just purchasing some wax and melting it) to really “seal” the top so it won’t get too mixed up.
Not Just for Sand!
And why not think outside the box even more? It doesn’t have to just be sand! My fiance and I were having trouble finding a ritual that really resonated with us, but knew we wanted to include something… lately, we’ve been throwing around the idea of doing a “sand” ceremony with salt and pepper! We’d get colored salt (probably grey or pink gourmet sea salt) and colored peppercorns (leaning towards green or pink), and do the typical sand ceremony actions, with a bit of a twist on the wording.
Are you planning on including a sand ceremony? Are there any other unity rituals you’d like to learn more about?
Wedding: Erica & Jeff
Erica and Jeff were married at Jenkinson’s Inlet, near the boardwalk of Point Pleasant Beach, NJ. It was a rainy weekend, but thankfully we got some beautiful clear weather, and though we couldn’t have the ceremony on the beach as planned, everyone was dry!
Erica and Jeff chose to have the groomsmen standing at the altar at the beginning, holding up various signs – it was hysterical! You can see a few of them here – some others read “That’s what she said!” and “Giggity, giggity, giggity.” It created an atmosphere of laughter right from the beginning!
Erica and Jeff have a fabulous sense of humor, and wanted the ceremony to be light and funny, as well as to really celebrate the family they have together. One of the first things that Erica told me when we talked was that she and Jeff had met at a Halloween party – where Jeff was dressed as a girl… dressed as a bunny. Of course, that went right into their love story!
Their kids were the flower girl and ring bearer, and did a GREAT job! We also included a sand ceremony that the whole family took part in, and poured some sand from the beach on top, too. We also included a hand-fasting, using some boating twine to bring in the beach theme.
One of my favorite touches was when the bride was escorted down the aisle. Erica’s brother’s walked her in, and half way down the aisle, where she was met by her dad, who escorted her the rest of the way, to the altar.
Check out more great shots from their wedding on their extended gallery!
Setting up props before the ceremony.
How do you get your guests to turn off their cell phones?
I was a theatre major in college – and when I would stage manage, I was often the voice that told you to turn off your cell phones and pagers and unwrap your candy before the performance would begin.
Photo via melissa blemur(And, yes, both of the photos in this post were taken at recent weddings I officiated… before the ceremony!)
Now, I’m often the voice that asks guests to turn off their cell phone and other noisy electronics prior to the wedding ceremony. I like to say, “Other noisy electronics” in addition to cell phones because many cameras make sound now, too, and you never know who’s going to bring a portable gaming system and just play Mario Kart quietly through the ceremony.
There’s a small controversy about this in the wedding world. Some officiants believe that it truly should be the guests responsibility to make sure their cell phones are off, and prefer not to make an announcement at the beginning of the ceremony. Every time I’ve done that – I’ve had cell phones ring!
Some officiants will suggest putting a basket out that all guests can place their phones in and collect after the ceremony – I’m not a fan (I’m not putting my iPhone in that basket!).
Some officiants will ask their couples to put a note in the program (may not get read, no matter how beautiful your program is), or will go from row to row just before the ceremony begins asking everyone to make sure their cell phones are off (my second favorite option).
Whatever you do – mentioning it in some way is a great idea. Because nothing ruins a nice wedding ceremony than your cousin’s cell phone singing “All the Single Ladies” during your vows.
Funny story: At my stepbrother’s bar mitzvah, a cell phone rang from the back row during the ceremony – and the ringtone? Hava Negila. I guess if a cell phone needs to ring during a joyous event – that’s the only appropriate ring tone!
