Check out the blog post I wrote for My Kate Parking Wedding – Wedding Ceremony Trends for 2010!
Stephanie & John were my first wedding of 2010! They got married on January 2, at the Molly Pitcher Inn, in Red Bank, New Jersey. Their whole wedding was set up so it felt like a holiday celebration that two people just happened to get married in the middle of. Many of the guests, including the bride, wore red, which is a color that is considered good luck in the bride’s Chinese culture.
Stephanie & John’s romance is one that spanned continents… when they met, she was in New York on business, but was living in London. Over the next few years, as their relationship deepened and continued, they would meet up in Europe or the States to vacation and travel together!
We had guests from all over joining us.. including the bride’s parents, who Skyped in from Hong Kong! I think Stephanie told me that it was three in the morning there! It was so nice to be able to have the bride’s parents, via webcam, as well as many other important family members. In lieu of a bridal party, the couple had important people stand up with them: John’s son and daughter, and Stephanie’s brother and sister-in-law. It was a very casual ceremony – no processional, we just took our places at the front when cocktail hour had ended, and gathered the guests around us. The ceremony ended with the maitr’d presenting the couple with champagne for a toast!
It was a lovely way to start the year. Thanks, Stephanie and John, for letting me be a part of it!
I was so excited to receive the Bride’s Choice Award from WeddingWire this year! I received it last year as well. It means so much that my awesome couples love their ceremonies so much and take the time to review me on sites like WeddingWire. I couldn’t have done it without you! Here’s the official announcement!
 |
 |
WeddingWire, the nation’s leading wedding technology company, just announced Eclectic Unions has been selected to receive the WeddingWire 2010 Bride’s Choice Awards™ for Officiants!
The annual Bride’s Choice Awards recognizes and celebrates excellence in quality and service within the wedding industry, as determined by recent reviews and extensive surveys from over 500,000 newlyweds.
Eclectic Unions is among the top five percent of all vendors in the WeddingWire community, which includes over 100,000 wedding professionals across the US and Canada. Awards were given to winners across 19 different service categories, from wedding venues to wedding photographers.
“We are excited to recognize and honor the success of the top wedding professionals within the WeddingWire Community” said Timothy Chi, WeddingWire’s Chief Executive Officer. “The annual Bride’s Choice Awards program has given us the unique opportunity to highlight the best wedding professionals in each region as reviewed by brides and grooms who have utilized their services in the past year.”
We are happy to announce that Eclectic Unions is among the very best officiants within the WeddingWire Network, which includes WeddingWire and Martha Stewart Weddings. We would like to thank our past newlyweds for nominating us for the 2010 Bride’s Choice Awards.
I love that couples are taking a much more active role in their wedding ceremony’s creation – and part of this is the trend of having a friend ordained or solemnized for the day so they can legally officiate at your wedding. I am off two minds here, so I thought I’d let you all know the PROS and CONS of having a friend officiate, in my professional opinion.
The wedding that really kicked this trend off... Monica + Chandler get married by their friend Joey on 'Friends'
Now, for this post, I’m going to make the following assumptions about the friend you’re asking to officiate:
They’ve never written a ceremony before.
They’ve never officiated at a ceremony before.
They’ve been to an average amount of weddings in their life.
They are a good public speaker.
PRO: You’re not having a stranger standing up there on the most important part of your life.
CON: Your friend has never done a wedding before, and may get nervous, or, because they are a part of your life, may get over emotional.
PRO: You can work closely with them to write your ceremony, or even write it yourself.
CON: Writing your ceremony is a lot of work. It’s sometimes hard when you have a friend officiate to figure out who is going to write the ceremony… if the bride and groom write it, the officiant may feel like they are simply reading from a script because it’s not their words (especially hard for non-pros). If the officiant writes it, it may not be as strong a ceremony as a pro-officiant could write, and may not have as much personal relevance as if the bride and groom wrote it.
PRO: It’s a great way to involve someone else in the wedding.
CON: As with many DIY projects (and, yes, having a friend officiate is a DIY project in my book), a great deal of responsibility can fall on the bride and groom during the wedding itself. A friend officiant may not insist on being mic or be able to provide a PA system if the DJ or venue can’t… a friend officiant probably won’t know how to run a rehearsal, which can lead to this falling on the bride or groom… a friend officiant may not double check to see if the rings and other props for the ceremony are in place and have a back up for them, just in case.
PRO: It’s comforting to have a friend up there, and great to be able to share this important moment with someone who is a part of your life.
CON: It’s sometimes hard to figure out where the line of “friend” and “officiant” begin and end. Make sure you communicate with your DIY officiant about what you want and expect from them. Will they be writing the ceremony? Should they bring a copy of the ceremony with them? Do you want them to bring your vows and the readings? Who will set up the props before the ceremony? Who will run the rehearsal? Are they expecting any kind of compensation or payment? Are you paying for their travel expenses and hotel room? What are they going to wear?
My favorite friend ordained TV wedding! Lily + Marshall, solemnized by their friend Barney on 'How I Met Your Mother'
PRO: The bride and groom are from mixed religious backgrounds, or don’t have religious beliefs, and did not want someone from a church solemnizing their marriage.
CON: There are non-religious professional officiants / Celebrants out there
PRO: FREE! Or reasonably cheap.
CON: As with many DIY wedding elements, this is big – having a friend officiate not only adds a great personal touch, but it is usually much cheaper than hiring someone to do it. The only CON to this PRO is that, sometimes, you do get what you pay for – make sure you choose your friend-officiant with lots of thought, and clearly define the lines of their role.
PRO: You can get ordained on the internet now! Just click and you can do weddings!
CON: Internet ordainment is not recognized in every state. PLEASE check with your town hall / registrar to make sure that internet ministers ARE legal before you go ahead with a friend doing your wedding. In some states, there are additional requirements that can be circumvented a bit – and in some, it’s as simple as registering with the state. Do your homework to make sure your wedding is legal!
I got into this whole wedding Celebrant business because a friend asked me to officiate at her wedding. I wasn’t a Celebrant then, I was just her wedding obsessed roommate who had witnessed her entire relationship with her husband unfold, from the first day they met to the moment they broke the glass at their wedding. It was a huge honor, but a HUGE undertaking, and I want to make sure that couple who ask their friends to officiate understand what a large part of the wedding this is, and how much work it can really be.
The ‘Friends’ wedding is actually a good example… how would you feel if your friend-officiant showed up in a vintage military uniform and opened your wedding ceremony with this?
Joey: Dearly beloved, I’m sorry I’m a little late. You may be confused by this now, but you won’t be, Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, let’s get started before the groom takes off again. I’ve known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I’ve left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows.
I love hearing from my brides and grooms, and couldn’t stop smiling after receiving this email from Maryann, a recent bride of mine. I’ll have a blog post on her wedding soon (it was a personal, sweet ceremony, with original vows, three readings, a handfasting, and a time capsule ceremony!), but I wanted to share this wonderful email that she sent me after she and her husband returned from their honeymoon!
Hi Jessie!
We just got back to Indiana last night and I have been dying to email you to thank you a million times over for creating such a beautiful ceremony. It was perfect! The day seems like a blur but the one thing I remember perfectly is the ceremony because it was so meaningful. Thank you for the time you put into crafting it to fit our needs and wishes. I’ve received so many complements from our guests on the beauty, uniqueness, and intimacy of the ceremony. I’ve even had friends (married ones at that!) write to ask me for the readings and hand fasting ritual explanation because they thought they were so beautiful.
The King making an appearance at Maryann & Cas’ reception!! Photo by Kamila Harris Photography
I hired an Elvis Impersonator as a surprise for Cas who had wanted to get married by Elvis in Vegas – and yet in reflecting on the wedding he and our guests all seem to forget the guy in the sparkly suit with swiveling hips and go straight for commenting on the ceremony. (related to this… I made Cas play the “what was your favorite part of our wedding” over the honeymoon and he put you and the slider bar from the cocktail hour at number one – this is perhaps that highest compliment he could give!)
I can’t thank you enough for making the most important part of our wedding be the part that always comes to mind when I think back to our day. I was such a nervous mess on Friday night and you just put me at ease. As you saw in my “wedding homework” that’s one of the traits I love most in Cas and while I have an incredibly loving group of friends and family that feeling of peace is not what Italians necessarily do best 
But you definitely possess that and it made walking in to that beautiful atrium so much less intimidating to know it was you and Cas down at the other end waiting for me. You made me feel so comfortable – it was like having a trusted friend there with us all the while (…which was especially needed when burst out “I DO” 3 sentences too early! LOL Cas and I have no stopped laughing at that. Thank you for handling it like a pro and a friend – you allowed us to laugh and let it broke the nervous tension without feeling like it interrupted the ceremony).
lots of love,
maryann
I put Maryann and Cas’ keepsake ceremony in the mail today… I hope you like it!! I always say it, but the most amazing people find me and ask me to be their wedding Celebrant. I feel so lucky that I get to do this, thank you for letting me be such an important part of your wedding!
