Yolanda and Rich were married in Liberty State Park (The Liberty House), on a beautiful summer day. Their ceremony was sweet and fun. To honor Yolanda’s heritage, they had a traditional arras ceremony – a coin exchange. We used the same coins that were presented to Yolanda’s parents at their marriage, forty three years before! The arras has its roots in the idea of a dowry, but this is the wording that I like to use, that feels a little more modern and egalitarian, while still honoring the heritage of this beautiful ritual.
The coins, along with the bride’s engagement ring
These coins symbolize the wealth our couple will receive in their life – not just money, but the wealth of love, support, and protection they will provide for each other in their marriage.
Each coin symbolizes a trait that we hope Yoly and Rich’s marriage will be filled with: love, trust, commitment, respect, joy, happiness, harmony, wisdom, wholeness, nurturing, caring, cooperation, and peace.
May these coins remind you that it is more blessed to give than to receive – when you share your love and your lives with others, your love will only multiple and expand, richening and deepening your lives, your experiences, and your relationship.
They had a friend read Robert Fulgum’s “Union” – one of my favorites.
These beautiful photos are courtesy of Vanessa Joy Photography.
Marie contacted me because she wanted to craft a truly unique wedding ceremony as her gift to her future husband.
They were planning an intimate wedding, with about twenty guests, and Marie wanted to honor the heritage and traditions of each important guest there. So she brought many different rituals and traditions to the table, looking to me to incorporate them into the ceremony.
I do like to get both the bride and groom’s input and feedback on a ceremony, so, though German didn’t see the bulk of the ceremony before hand, I did have him fill out a questionnaire so I could get some personal details from him to enhance their Love Story. Each of the elements that honored a tradition or background were presented by a loved one, so they were very involved with the ceremony:
To honor the groom’s heritage, after he walked to the front with his mother, she placed a Basque beret on his head, to represent his grandfather.
The bride was walked down the aisle by both of her sons, to represent her father, who is now longer with us, in the Puerto Rican tradition.
The groom’s best man and his wife were invited up to present a flower garland to the couple, which they then placed around them, to signify their mutual acceptance of each other. This was to honor the best man’s Persian heritage.
In the Cuban tradition, the bride and groom were presented with thirteen coins, the arras, which represents thirteen ideals they would like to keep in their marriage.
And their ring bearer was dressed in the traditional Indian wedding garb.
And there were some joyous rituals, to close the ceremony:
Bells were rung (Irish).
Glass was broken (Jewish).
And a broom was jumped (Southern United States).
It all came together to create a truly unique wedding, that is unlike any I have ever put together!
All the props, laid out: the box held the coins, the broom for jumping, and the silk bag, for the glass breaking.
Blake found me through the LiveJournal Wedding Plans community, where I’m an active member, planning my own wedding. She was planning her wedding long distance – she and her husband live in California, but were marrying in New Jersey. I met up with Blake a few times prior to the wedding, whenever she was in town, and together we created a sweet and fun wedding ceremony.
We got a beautiful morning for their beach ceremony, taking place at Merri-Maker’s on the Water’s Edge in Sea Bright. We included a ring warming, passing their wedding rings through all of the guests gathered, to bless and imbue them with well wishes and happy thoughts for the couple’s marriage – special vows for their parents, and special vows for the guests – a wine ceremony – and a breaking of the glass.
The parents join us, for their own special vows in support of their children’s marriage.
My favorite piece of their Love Story came from an anecdote that Blake told me…
Blake soon knew that there was something very special between them – because they were flavor compatible. Now, let me explain this to you a little bit. You know when you buy a box of ice pops or a bag of assorted candy, and there are always one or two flavors that are left at the end, because you just don’t like them? Well, Jason’s go to flavors are orange and grape – which are Blake’s least favorites, the ones she would always leave at the bottom of the bag. When Blake realized that they were “Flavor Complementary,” she knew that Jason was a keeper.
And Jason, who had chosen the wine for the wine sharing, was SO excited to enjoy a glass! Afterwards, he sipped the rest of the wine as they took their portraits together, too.
And my favorite surprise? They had a keyboardist for their processional and recessional – and they recessed out to the “Legend of Zelda” theme. How awesome is that?
Blake and Jason, I had SO much fun with you both. Thanks for letting me be a part of your wedding!
Handing off the rings for the ring warming, at the beginning of the ceremony.
Visit their extended gallery on Flickr for more!
Lisa and Quinn had so many wonderful, personal, and beautiful ideas for their wedding! They were married in Quinn’s parent’s beautiful yard, which overlooked the water and was just breathtakingly beautiful.
They used a handfasting ceremony for their vows, one whose wording touched on the blessings of the four directions and the elements that correspond with them – West for water, North for air, East for earth, and South for fire. Their handfasting cord was crafted by Quinn’s mom, and were four cords that corresponded with the colors associate with those four directions.
By pure coincidence, many other pieces of the ceremony corresponded with these elements! We had a wishing stone ceremony, where each guest was presented with a stone when they entered, and, at a certain point in the ceremony, they held it in their hands and made a wish for the bride and groom’s life together. At the end of the ceremony, Lisa and Quinn and the bridal party turned towards the water, and all threw their stones in – they were followed by all of the guests. This touched on the earth and the water elements, and was a wonderful, interactive way to really involve their guests and their loved ones in the ceremony.
Another touching and beautiful ritual that we included was the release of butterflies during the remembrances, for all of their loved ones, but especially for the bride’s mom. A friend of the couple raises butterflies, and the release was perfect, beautiful, and so meaningful, as the bride and groom stood there, helping the butterflies along, as their musicians performed “Ave Maria.”
“It is said that if one has a wish and whispers it to a butterfly – once the butterfly is released, they transport the wish to the sky, on their wings. Let these butterflies bring our words and our well wishes for Lisa and Quinn to the Heavens, sharing this moment with our loved ones who are here in spirit.”
But I have to say my favorite moment of the ceremony was at the very end. We did something really simple but really powerful – just before they were declared husband and wife, I asked Lisa and Quinn to face their guests, and really remember the moment – the powerful feeling of not only their own love, but all of their friends and family’s love. I can’t take the credit for this – it was the couple’s idea – but I just love it!
After the ceremony, many couples came up to me to tell me how unique and special they thought the ceremony was – and that it fit Lisa and Quinn so well, since they were so unique and special themselves!
Lisa and Quinn, it was such a joy, every single step of the way. Sending you all of my love and congratulations for a happy life together!
Quinn walked in with his parents – closely followed by the family dog, Spanky, who proceeded to lay down on the bride’s train during the ceremony! They stood at the front with him, and greeted Lisa and her dad once at the front, for a sweet moment of love before the parents were all seated.
Lisa and her dad, getting ready to walk in!
Spanky lays down on Lisa’s train!
Lisa and Quinn, facing their guests, just before being declared husband and wife.
Stones being thrown into the water by the guests, after the ceremony.
Ashley and Greg chose a really special date for their wedding: their sixth anniversary!
They were married at the Hyatt Regency in Jersey City, on a very windy Saturday, overlooking the river and New York City. Ashley and Greg laugh a lot, so we, of course, had to include that in their ceremony, with a sweet and funny retelling of their first meeting – where the both promptly fell in love at first sight!
They wrote their own vows, and kept them a secret from one another – but managed to cite the same private joke, and each mentioned the special meaning behind their wedding date. It really showed how in sync Ashley and Greg are, and how well they complement each other.
We concluded their ceremony with a Shakespearan sonnet, which felt very approriate as we braved the winds during the ceremony:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
All in all, it was a wonderful ceremony for two wonderful people, who, even after six years, are still head over heels in love with each other. Ashley and Greg, I loved being a part of your wedding! Congratulations again!
All photos are courtesy of Black Dog Photography.
I always bring copies of their vows for the bride and groom, and I couldn’t believe how well the vows coordinated with Ashley’s bouquet!
You can see Ashley’s beautiful engagement ring, with sapphires!
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
