Photo courtesy of the bride & groom

It was a very intimate wedding, with only about 25-30 people there.  There was no bridal party – Gordon and I entered first, then Linda Russell played as Stephanie entered, wearing an amazing black cocktail dress and a beautiful birdcage veil!  They were married in front of the fireplace, filled with flickering (LED!) candles, in the South Parlor.

Gordon's Vows

Gordon wrote some more traditional “I do!” vows for them, but the prefaced them with personal vows of their own – where they cited private jokes, and expressed how much they truly love each other.   Though there was a ton of laughter and a light air to their ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the house!  After their vows, they both leaned forward to kiss – and immediately stopped themselves!  But you know what – if you want to kiss during your wedding ceremony – kiss!  It was a sweet, romantic, and spontaneous moment!

I ALWAYS bring tissues... but I had only brought ONE to their wedding. Thankfully, family members in the front row had some more to share!

Stephanie & Gordon’s young friend Lilli was their ring bearer, and brought the rings to the front of the room, tied to a book (the theme of their wedding).   They also incorporated a handfasting, with a bright red ribbon.

The rings, on the ring-bearing book.

The Handfasting

This was my first wedding of the Spring, and one of my favorites, hands down!

A selection from their Love Story:

On their first date, Gordon decided to do something a little different, and asked Stephanie to attend his monthly amateur astronomer’s club meeting.  Afterwards, they made their way to a blues club, where, with some good music and a few drinks, our couple was able to loosen up and get to know each other.  Stephanie left the next day to go up to Albany for the weekend, but it didn’t take long for her to hear from Gordon – “Instead of following ‘the rules’ and waiting several days to call, I really liked that there was a message on my machine when I came back Sunday night,” she recalls.

Our bride and groom have proved their love for each other in a million tiny ways, every single day.  When Stephanie threw a coat over her pajamas to rescue a stranded Gordon from the side of Route 22 on a rainy Friday night – when Gordon scrapes the ice and snow off of Stephanie’s car on cold mornings – every simple action that they do shows the other how important they are, how treasured, and how much a part of their lives they have become.  It is on that note that we have come together today – not to validate a relationship between these two people, but to expand on the wonderful relationship they already share.

If you’d like to see some more photos, check out Stephanie & Gordon’s extended gallery!

I got a really lovely one from a couple who is having their wedding in early April – they’re having a book and literature theme, and really took it to heart with the invitation.  The groom, Gordon Bond of BluzDog Graphics, designed these!

It’s a card – here’s the front:

And the inside – just like a book! – with a little bookplate, featuring the couple and their cat, along with a library card pocket with the actual wedding information!  On the back are directions to the venue.

The groom is a graphic designer, and they had mentioned they found the book cover that was just perfect for the invitations and looked like them too, so they scanned that (and added in the kitty, if I am not mistaken).  I love how off beat they are, how fun, how interesting and interactive and especially how much they reflect the couple being married (just about my favorite wedding thing ever!).

When I’m writing a wedding ceremony, and want to include someone else’s words, that first things I think about are, “What is the theme of this wedding?”

Finding Words to Fit Inspiration
I’m not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going on – I consider the relationship of the couple, the love story, their sense of humor.

I did a wedding that took place in the couple’s backyard – they were all about family, about turning their house into a home for their family.  I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony.  And I found the perfect quote!

Jeannie & Tom's beautiful backyard wedding

As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives.  This love is what makes their house into a home.

I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, and authors are – and who their heroes are as well.  This gives me another jumping off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.

Let me give you an example – in a recent wedding I did, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln.  I don’t think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in the wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple – and included it in the end of their love story.

And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

As the bride’s love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote, too.

Finding Inspiration from Words
Often times, couples will tell me of a poem or reading they would like to incorporate as well – and I often use these as ways to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke.  It’s kind of the backwards version of when I search for a quote – instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and THEN find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme, and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony.  It’s kind of like the wordy version of those wedding inspiration boards – a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.

I had a bride this past summer who came to her meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony.  They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no Love Story.  I adapted the passages into their Love Story, relating it to their relationship and their lives.  It worked out really well.

A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person – it is being the right partner.

Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other.  Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration.  Her selflessness, big heart, and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.

The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams.  She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her, and protects her.  She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is – whatever it takes.

Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person – you have found your perfect partner.  It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other, and to witness your marriage today.

Joe & Lynn's Love Story

I love that passage – it’s in my Celebrant arsenal – I like to use it in my closing remarks.  Thanks, Lynn!

Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony
You’ve probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding – add a reader to your program.  This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends, or bridal party members into your ceremony.  Make sure that you’ve told them before hand that they’re going to be reading, and, if at all possible, send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with it!

I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don’t have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse.  Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table – it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don’t have to worry about that extra piece of paper.

The Matron of Honor reads e.e. cummings

As I’ve mentioned, if the couple doesn’t want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself – perhaps in the Love Story or the closing remarks.  I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn’t feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.

You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs, or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have your theme of your ceremony expand throughout your wedding.

Something I love is to include them in your vows.  I recently found a poem that just took my breathe away – and made me cry each time I read it.  It spoke really clearly to me, and I’ve tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows (and I can’t share it here because I know he reads my blog!).

And please, as always, feel free to think outside of the box!  I’ve had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows – or read song lyrics like a poem – or put a poem to music! – recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!).  The possibilities of including other people’s words in your ceremony are near endless, and incredibly inspiring.  Start your own quote collection today!

I’ve chosen these organizations, though would be willing to donate to any worthy organization of the couple’s choice.  I think this is a great way to give back, especially in these tough times, when organizations like these are especially needed – especially on the local level.

The Bergen County Animal Shelter

The Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey

American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey

New Jersey Humanist Network

Well, you’re out of luck.  The Empire State Building no longer hosts private events or weddings.

Except once a year – this year, 14 lucky couples will be married on top of the Empire State Building, through a contest run with Brides.com.  And you can watch them live!

More information is over on Brides.com.  If you’re looking for a little romantic inspiration on Saturday.. why not watch the weddings?  Or take a look and see how they transformed the top of the building into a beautiful wedding site?  Or read about the romantic proposals and love stories of the couples being married?

Bonus V-Day Info:  If you’re looking for some super cute Valentine’s Day cards to print and send toyour loved ones or friends, check out these free cards from The Black Apple – she posted them last year, but they’re still up there! The High-Res PDF prints up really well – I printed them out on some card stock, cut them out, and sent them to a friend for a Valentine’s Day suprise.

from http://theblackapple.typepad.com/

Have a very happy and love filled Valentine’s Day!!

They really wanted a sentimental, touching, and funny ceremony, without getting too mushy.  I think their Love Story really captured the wonderful love they have between them, and celebrated who they were.  Layla gave me a special “checklist” that a friend had given her, as potential ways to check out a new guy’s history, and I opened with it:

Many years ago, a friend of Layla’s wrote a special screening checklist for her potential dates.  This list included many gems of advice, including:

Number 1: Check guy’s psych history.
Number 4: Check his walls/photo albums for signs of obsessiveness.

But, the most important, was number 7:  Above all, settle for nothing.  Layla took this very important advice to heart, and it led her to her soul mate, as you see them before you today.

"You will always and forever be new to ME, you will forever be my REAL LOVE."

Layla & Lewis chose to write their own vows.  It was their moment to really have fun and open up to each other, in front of their family and friends, and they did a fabulous job.  Layla used a reading from the Velveteen Rabbit in her vows – telling Lewis that his love is what makes her REAL.  Lewis said that one of his favorite activities is making Layla smile – and requested that she let him do that forever.

Lewis getting his vows!

Matron of Honor Jamie reads e.e. cummings

Their ceremony also included a reading by the Matron of Honor (e.e. cumming’s “i carry your heart”) and a handfasting.

The couple during their handfasting

Wrapping Layla & Lewis hands with the handfasting cord

Layla & Lewis are expecting their first child in March, and got engaged in November, putting their wedding together in just two months!  I couldn’t believe it!

You guys rock.  I had SO much fun.  Congratulations again!

Please click here to see more photos from Layla & Lewis’ ceremony

.

But there’s always wedding planning going on!  And I think the winter and early spring is an ideal time to begin communicating and contacting your vendors for your summer and fall weddings – for a variety of reasons!

We’ve all heard that the holiday season is the time to get engaged, so the New Year always starts out with a bunch of new brides, ready to start planning their perfect days.  On the other hand, as the new year begins, all of the brides who have been planning their 2009 weddings can finally say – I’m getting married this year! – and fully dive in to their planning (this works for next year brides too – I’m currently planning my 2010 wedding, and have felt so much better about emailing and contacting vendors now that I can say “I’m getting married NEXT year!”)

As I said, this is a great time to start planning because if you have the time, you won’t begin to feel the pressure or crunch of wedding planning.  And when wedding planning becomes stressful.. well, then it’s not fun, and planning the wedding is almost as much fun as the wedding itself.

So if you’re a new bride, or super excited to be getting married this year or NEXT year, here’s a great tip to get you thinking about planning your wedding ceremony:

What do you absolutely WANT to have? And what do you absolutely NOT want to have?

• Is it very important to have your mom or dad walk you down the aisle?  Do you want to make sure you can write your own vows, or use special ring vows or a reading?  Is there a special ritual or tradition that your parents used that you just have to be able to fit in?
• Alternatively, have you been to weddings and thought – I don’t know what I DO want, but I can tell you what I don’t want!  Are there certain stories or anecdotes you don’t want your officiant to use?  Certain terms or vows that you are just dead set against?  Rituals or traditions that you’re just not that into and don’t want?
• It’s a great idea to brainstorm these together before you meet with your officiant, so that you can make sure you’re all on the same page when it comes time to put your ceremony together.  Sometimes, the key is to knowing what you DON’T want!