Meet Sarah and John.
They’re getting married at the Chesterwood Estate & Museum in Stockbridge, MA, in July (take a moment to check out their venue – isn’t it cool?).
I always say that the coolest people find me and ask me to lead their wedding ceremonies – and Sarah and John are no exception. In fact, I found Sarah - she’s a pretty awesome photographer, and I contacted her about photographing my wedding in October of 2010.
We met in January, and discussed weddings – both of ours (that’s the Celebrant in me, I guess, even when I’m supposed to be talking about my own wedding, I need to know about other bride’s ceremonies!). She and her fiance had a lot of really cool ideas of different rituals, ceremonies, and traditions to incorporate into their wedding, and it sounded like their wedding was going to be a blast!
So, a few months later – my fiance and I had decided that Sarah is the one to photograph our wedding. And then I get an email from her, asking me to officiate HER wedding! I didn’t have to hesitate before absolutely saying yes!
Sarah and John came into the whole process with some great ideas about what they wanted to include in their wedding ceremony. Some of the rituals and traditions I was familiar with and love (handfasting, readings), some I had heard of and am totally excited to do for the first time (seedling planting ceremony), and some that I had never even heard of before (Circle of Love with flowers, presentation of the ring by the moms, with a “blessing” by the parents).
They chose not to have a traditional wedding party, but are having their siblings and their significant others take part in the processional, and are each being walked down the aisle by their parents (in the vein of the Jewish tradition). There are even some surprises in store – they’re having three readers and letting them each choose the readings they’d like to use… but we’re going to keep them a secret from the bride & groom until the wedding ceremony!
I’m so excited to begin putting their wedding ceremony together – I think it’s going to be something really amazing when it all comes together, something that really reflects Sarah & John’s commitment to each other, to their families, and to love 
‘Cause when it comes down to it.. isn’t it all about the love?
I’m going to be blogging my process on Sarah and John’s wedding, so you, my lovely blog readers, can follow along at home and see all of the fun research, prep, emails and planning that goes into creating and writing a wedding ceremony, and hopefully get some great ideas for your own ceremonies along the way. So, we’ll start from the beginning – with their outline and our first meeting and end in Western Massachusetts in mid-July. I can’t wait!
PS: Sarah recently did a wedding update on her blog, if you want to hear more about her current wedding plans! Loving the orange!
I’ll start this blog post out with a little announcement: Gordon Bond, the groom from one of my favorite weddings at the Abraham Staats House in April, and the designer who made these amazing wedding invitations, is now custom designing wedding invitations! If you’re interested in contacting him to make some awesome invitations just for you, check out his new website – Custom Wedding Invitation Design by Gordon Bond – Custom Not Cliche.
Now, on to the Etsy Friday!
I’m super excited for my first beach wedding of the season tonight! It’s been a rainy week here in New Jersey, but it looks like it’s going to be sunny with just some scattered showers today (*knock on wood*). So, everyone, please put in some positive thoughts and good feelings to the weather today, and I hope that Jess and Kenny get a clear day so we can have the ceremony on the beach! You’ll get to hear more about their ceremony next week.
Set of 3 Signs via Funki Folk Art
I just love these custom designed signs! Perfect for a beach or outdoor wedding, where the wedding site may be slightly hard to find, and adds a cool, rustic touch.
Your Personalized Message in Sand via Capture Cape May
How cool is this! They go down to the beach in Cape May, NJ, and write your message in the sand, photograph it for you, and send you the print. For a beach wedding, this would be great to use as your thank you cards, decor at the venue, or even a great gift for the bride and groom!
Bubbles Headpiece via Anca Pe’elme
This beautiful headpiece is made up of pearls, shells, and little clay bubbles – perfect for bringing the beach into the bride’s attire.
Marry Me in Paradise via Bunny With a Toolbelt
This display stand for custom cake toppers is a lovely way to bring a tropical flare to the reception as well. You can pick which bridal party figurines you’d like from her shop, too.
Seashell Bouquet via Chocolate Brooms & Bouquets
Love this seashell bouquet! Perfect for a destination wedding, as you can (very carefully) pack it in your suitcase.
Shell Embellished Letters via Tropical Cottage
These letters would be GREAT to decorate an altar / table for the ceremony, or used at the reception, perhaps decorating the sweetheart table or on the escort or guestbook table.
My fiance, Dan, comes with me to a lot of my weddings – he takes pictures, helps me trouble shoot my sound system, is an emergency witness, and provides excellent moral support (plus, I buy him dinner afterwards). So, over the past year, as my unofficial assistant, he’s witnessed more weddings than most people will go to their whole lives! Considering when I started out on this whole officiant thing, he was a self-proclaimed wedding hater who thought he would never actually get married (as Joey from Friends so eloquently put it – “a complex fellow unlikely to take a wife”) – his support and interest in my ceremonies means a lot to me.
Dan and I (at a wedding, of course!)
So when I say the word “fiance” to my couples, they immediately get very excited for me, and the first question they ask: “Who is performing YOUR wedding?” It’s a tough question!
Being on the other side of the officiant search? This is HARD! What a huge decision! What an immense amount of trust! This person is going to be standing up in front of ALL of my family and friends, talking about Dan and I and our relationship and our love on the biggest day of our lives. But you know – no pressure or anything.
So we’ve been meeting with wedding officiants, and I love seeing how Dan interacts with them, now that he is an unofficial wedding ceremony expert. We both have very strong ideas and feelings about specific things we want and don’t want in the ceremony, but could use some guidance on incorporating all of our ideas and plans in there. And that’s where the officiant comes in – taking our ideas, our stories, our plans, our random scraps of poetry I’ve been saving in my Google Notebook, and smushing it all together into a fabulous ceremony.
So – when you’re meeting with your officiant for the first time – or if you are planning on writing or working with someone to write your own ceremony and having a friend or family member officiate – there are two important questions to consider.
Number 1: What do you ABSOLUTELY want and not want in your ceremony?
Maybe you like some aspects of the more traditional vows, but you’d like to make them more personal. Are there any rituals, traditions, or readings that you’ve seen in other weddings and loved? Or is there a certain element that you both love that you’d like to incorporate into a ritual? What is kind of cool about weddings is that you can give meaning to ANYTHING. I’m doing a wedding on the beach next weekend where the couple will stand in a Circle of Love we’ve created in the sand – as their family and friends enter, they will place shells along the circle, to symbolize their love and support as they begin this new journey.
I found out that shells can symbolize the beginning of a new journey, and incorporated this as well. This entire ceremony was created just for them based on their request to incorporate the beach theme, with the shells, and their family and friends in a very physical and real way. I’m so excited to see it, I think it’s going to be just beautiful!
It’s just as important to tell your officiant what you DON’T want in your ceremony! Not only does this ensure that it won’t be in there, but it also helps to give them an idea of the kind of person you are, and what you are looking for in your ceremony. Tricky, right? We wedding officiants have all kinds of tricks like that up our sleeves.
Number 2: How do you imagine your wedding ceremony?
This is a tough one. Many people can imagine their entire weddings, down to the cocktail napkins, but often get a little stuck on the ceremony. Let me put it this way – close your eyes, and imagine you are standing up there. Do you hear laughter? Is there music? Are people crying (happy tears!). What is your officiant saying?
I know it sounds silly, but it can help you to get the picture in your head. Do you want your ceremony to be light hearted? Intimate? Romantic? When it’s over, what feeling would you like your family and friends to walk away with?
I asked my fiance these questions before our wedding officiant meetings, to prep him and make sure he was already thinking “wedding ceremony” thoughts. And I think it really helped!
My lovely fiance comes to many of my weddings with me – as I always tell my couples, he sits in the back, he’s very quiet, he wears a tie, and he takes pictures for me. Afterwards, I thank him profusely and buy him dinner (it’s a business expense, right?).
There are occasions when he cannot come to my weddings, and I’m always a little sad, because I love having photos to share and look back on and talk about!
And this was one of those weddings – back in November, Jaseem & Genevieve got married at the Oakeside Mansion, in Bloomfield, New Jersey – a beautiful old house, with gardens in the back, where the ceremony was held. They had a sweet ceremony, with some wonderful traditions and rituals included, that I’ve been telling people about, and I was so excited when I saw their professional photos were up, so I could share them!
They each chose the same vows to read, one of my favorites:
I, Genevieve, take you, Jaseem, to be my husband,
my friend, my love, and my lifelong companion.
To share my life with yours,
To build our dreams together,
to support you through times of trouble,
and to rejoice with you in times of happiness.
I promise to treat you with respect, love and loyalty
through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together.
This commitment is made in love, kept in faith,
lived in hope, and eternally made new.
And they also had a sand ceremony, and a garland exchange, to honor Jaseem’s Indian heritage. Genevieve’s parents came forward to present the garlands to the bride and groom, who then passed the garlands over one another. This ritual symbolizes the mutual acceptance, of both the bride and groom for each other as husband and wife, but also for the parents, welcoming their new daughter or son into the family.
It was one of my last weddings of the fall, just after Halloween, and they had a beautiful, clear fall day.
Nearly six months later – congratulations again, Geneveieve & Jaseem! I know you both will spend the rest of your lives making each other happy.
Photos courtesy of Jaseem’s Flickr.
I went down to the Abraham Staats House, in South Bound Brook, New Jersey, this past weekend, for the wedding of Stephanie and Gordon (you may remember their awesome wedding invitations!). They were married in this amazing historic home, built c. 1740. The Staats House doesn’t normally do weddings, but for Stephanie and Gordon, two history buffs and members of the Friends of the Abraham Staats House, were able to pull it off!
Photo courtesy of the bride & groom
It was a very intimate wedding, with only about 25-30 people there. There was no bridal party – Gordon and I entered first, then Linda Russell played as Stephanie entered, wearing an amazing black cocktail dress and a beautiful birdcage veil! They were married in front of the fireplace, filled with flickering (LED!) candles, in the South Parlor.
Gordon's Vows
Gordon wrote some more traditional “I do!” vows for them, but the prefaced them with personal vows of their own – where they cited private jokes, and expressed how much they truly love each other. Though there was a ton of laughter and a light air to their ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the house! After their vows, they both leaned forward to kiss – and immediately stopped themselves! But you know what – if you want to kiss during your wedding ceremony – kiss! It was a sweet, romantic, and spontaneous moment!
I ALWAYS bring tissues... but I had only brought ONE to their wedding. Thankfully, family members in the front row had some more to share!
Stephanie & Gordon’s young friend Lilli was their ring bearer, and brought the rings to the front of the room, tied to a book (the theme of their wedding). They also incorporated a handfasting, with a bright red ribbon.
The rings, on the ring-bearing book.
The Handfasting
This was my first wedding of the Spring, and one of my favorites, hands down!
A selection from their Love Story:
On their first date, Gordon decided to do something a little different, and asked Stephanie to attend his monthly amateur astronomer’s club meeting. Afterwards, they made their way to a blues club, where, with some good music and a few drinks, our couple was able to loosen up and get to know each other. Stephanie left the next day to go up to Albany for the weekend, but it didn’t take long for her to hear from Gordon – “Instead of following ‘the rules’ and waiting several days to call, I really liked that there was a message on my machine when I came back Sunday night,” she recalls.
Our bride and groom have proved their love for each other in a million tiny ways, every single day. When Stephanie threw a coat over her pajamas to rescue a stranded Gordon from the side of Route 22 on a rainy Friday night – when Gordon scrapes the ice and snow off of Stephanie’s car on cold mornings – every simple action that they do shows the other how important they are, how treasured, and how much a part of their lives they have become. It is on that note that we have come together today – not to validate a relationship between these two people, but to expand on the wonderful relationship they already share.
If you’d like to see some more photos, check out Stephanie & Gordon’s extended gallery!
Photo by Cindy Patrick
Photo by Cindy Patrick