There are occasions when he cannot come to my weddings, and I’m always a little sad, because I love having photos to share and look back on and talk about!

And this was one of those weddings – back in November, Jaseem & Genevieve got married at the Oakeside Mansion, in Bloomfield, New Jersey – a beautiful old house, with gardens in the back, where the ceremony was held.  They had a sweet ceremony, with some wonderful traditions and rituals included, that I’ve been telling people about, and I was so excited when I saw their professional photos were up, so I could share them!

They each chose the same vows to read, one of my favorites:

I, Genevieve, take you, Jaseem, to be my husband,
my friend, my love, and my lifelong companion.
To share my life with yours,
To build our dreams together,
to support you through times of trouble,
and to rejoice with you in times of happiness.
I promise to treat you with respect, love and loyalty
through all the trials and triumphs of our lives together.
This commitment is made in love, kept in faith,
lived in hope, and eternally made new.

And they also had a sand ceremony, and a garland exchange, to honor Jaseem’s Indian heritage.  Genevieve’s parents came forward to present the garlands to the bride and groom, who then passed the garlands over one another.  This ritual symbolizes the mutual acceptance, of both the bride and groom for each other as husband and wife, but also for the parents, welcoming their new daughter or son into the family.

It was one of my last weddings of the fall, just after Halloween, and they had a beautiful, clear fall day.

Nearly six months later – congratulations again, Geneveieve & Jaseem!  I know you both will spend the rest of your lives making each other happy.

Photos courtesy of Jaseem’s Flickr.

I was going to do a straight wedding ceremony Etsy Friday, but then I started looking up the first item on my list – Ring Bearer Pillows/Bowls/Etc – and saw SO many great options that I knew it was going to take a few Fridays to hit them all!

So here’s the first installment – Ring Bearer Props!  And you don’t have to have a ring bearer to take advantage of these lovely details… if you have a table at the front with other props for the ceremony (unity candle, sand ceremony, wine, etc), you can add a ring pillow or a ring plate on there to store the rings until their big moment – and not have to worry about them!

I did a wedding in January that used these lovely little ring bowls from Paloma’s Nest.  I just love the simple elegance of them, and you can even get custom sayings printed!  Afterwards, it’s a sweet reminder of your wedding day, hung on the wall, or set up with a little plate frame on a shelf. [via Paloma's Nest]

Lovely little love birds on a ceramic leaf, with ribbons to hold the ribbon on.  There are a ton of other bird inspired wedding accessories (including some adorable cake toppers!) in her shop, too! [via Rain's End]

These pillows come with a matching tie!  And in her shop, you can get more ties for all of the men in the wedding can coordinate! [via Me and Matilda]
These plates are customized with a your name and wedding date.  Her shop has some more very cute options too (including “The Perfect Pear” with a little pear icon!). [via Just Wright Boutique]

I love that you can choose the colors and little flourish in the corner to match your wedding colors.  I also loved this one by the same seller, with a beautiful gathered purple velvet rose! [via Artful Beginnings]

This little ring nest is just so adorable! It would be perfect for a wedding in the woods! [via LuckeyU]

If you’re a little worried about your ring bearer losing the rings – keeping them safe in a box is a great option! [via Details! Creations]

I just love that this ring pillow is made from a vintage quilt.  If you have any sewers or quilters in your family or circle of friends – having them whip up a small quilt square to use as a pillow is an easy way to get a beautiful, personal pillow, imbued with some nice love! [via Sew.. That's It]

I just love the colors of this pillow.. the bright green and teal contrast really beautifully with the textured pillow! [via Maihar Design]

Just a few of the many options to have your ring bearer carry on your day.  If you want to have a beautiful accent with these, but have a younger ring bearer or are scared that the rings may be lost – many people will tie fake rings to the pillow/bowl, with the best man and maid of honor holding the real ones (just in case).  That’s always an option to help alleviate last minute wedding jitters!

Photo courtesy of the bride & groom

It was a very intimate wedding, with only about 25-30 people there.  There was no bridal party – Gordon and I entered first, then Linda Russell played as Stephanie entered, wearing an amazing black cocktail dress and a beautiful birdcage veil!  They were married in front of the fireplace, filled with flickering (LED!) candles, in the South Parlor.

Gordon's Vows

Gordon wrote some more traditional “I do!” vows for them, but the prefaced them with personal vows of their own – where they cited private jokes, and expressed how much they truly love each other.   Though there was a ton of laughter and a light air to their ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the house!  After their vows, they both leaned forward to kiss – and immediately stopped themselves!  But you know what – if you want to kiss during your wedding ceremony – kiss!  It was a sweet, romantic, and spontaneous moment!

I ALWAYS bring tissues... but I had only brought ONE to their wedding. Thankfully, family members in the front row had some more to share!

Stephanie & Gordon’s young friend Lilli was their ring bearer, and brought the rings to the front of the room, tied to a book (the theme of their wedding).   They also incorporated a handfasting, with a bright red ribbon.

The rings, on the ring-bearing book.

The Handfasting

This was my first wedding of the Spring, and one of my favorites, hands down!

A selection from their Love Story:

On their first date, Gordon decided to do something a little different, and asked Stephanie to attend his monthly amateur astronomer’s club meeting.  Afterwards, they made their way to a blues club, where, with some good music and a few drinks, our couple was able to loosen up and get to know each other.  Stephanie left the next day to go up to Albany for the weekend, but it didn’t take long for her to hear from Gordon – “Instead of following ‘the rules’ and waiting several days to call, I really liked that there was a message on my machine when I came back Sunday night,” she recalls.

Our bride and groom have proved their love for each other in a million tiny ways, every single day.  When Stephanie threw a coat over her pajamas to rescue a stranded Gordon from the side of Route 22 on a rainy Friday night – when Gordon scrapes the ice and snow off of Stephanie’s car on cold mornings – every simple action that they do shows the other how important they are, how treasured, and how much a part of their lives they have become.  It is on that note that we have come together today – not to validate a relationship between these two people, but to expand on the wonderful relationship they already share.

If you’d like to see some more photos, check out Stephanie & Gordon’s extended gallery!

I got a really lovely one from a couple who is having their wedding in early April – they’re having a book and literature theme, and really took it to heart with the invitation.  The groom, Gordon Bond of BluzDog Graphics, designed these!

It’s a card – here’s the front:

And the inside – just like a book! – with a little bookplate, featuring the couple and their cat, along with a library card pocket with the actual wedding information!  On the back are directions to the venue.

The groom is a graphic designer, and they had mentioned they found the book cover that was just perfect for the invitations and looked like them too, so they scanned that (and added in the kitty, if I am not mistaken).  I love how off beat they are, how fun, how interesting and interactive and especially how much they reflect the couple being married (just about my favorite wedding thing ever!).

But sometimes people forget about the actual purpose behind the Rehearsal Dinner – the Rehearsal! It’s an important element of the wedding ceremony, and can really help to alleviate stress on the day of the wedding.

I don’t always suggest having a rehearsal – if you’re having a very straightforward wedding ceremony (no rituals or ceremonies in the ceremony itself, a minimal wedding party, no music changes or cues), it’s not always necessary. But I do recommend having a rehearsal if you have more than three people on each side of the wedding party, children involved in any way, shape or form, or any rituals or traditions that you may want to practice. It’s also a great way to have everyone in the wedding party know who everyone else is on the day of, which can make everything run really smoothly on your wedding day.

The whole bridal party! The people standing where "honored guests," like grandparents and parents, who walked down the aisle and then were seated.

My rehearsals usually last about 45 minutes – much longer than the actual wedding ceremony! I usually begin by introducing myself, and giving a brief explanation of what we’re going to be doing. I love when the bridal party will introduce themselves, as it makes it easier for me to know who everyone is!

The Bride & Groom practice breaking the glass!

We start by practicing the processional. Everyone lines up in the order that they’re going to enter in. It usually helps if your day of coordinator, venue contact, or very helpful friend can be there to make sure everyone is lined up. If the DJ or band can be there, awesome – if not, we’ll practice without music (and I’ll make sure to go over the cues with them before the ceremony the next day). I’ll show everyone where I am going to stand at the front, and then we’ll start walking!

The Bridesmaids, all lined up

Once everyone gets to the front, we can figure out how everyone is going to stand, so people can know where they’re supposed to go. The great thing about rehearsals is how casual they are! People can be shifted and moved and changed to make sure everything is just perfect at the front.

Practicing the Rings

We can also establish how the bride and groom will stand in relation to the officiant – I prefer my couples to face each other, or (ideally) face catty corner, slightly out towards their friends and family. You get great photos this way, can see each others’ faces, and you don’t have to stare at me the entire time (believe me, I’m not going anywhere).

The bride & groom show the bridesmaids where to stand

We’ll run through the ceremony (quickly – “cue to cue,” so to speak), then practice the kiss (yay!) and the recessional.

Then we do it all again! Just to make sure everyone knows where to go.

Practicing the Recessional: Her groomsman partner couldn't make it to the rehearsal.

Practicing the Recessional: A groomsmen had to drop out of the wedding, so two bridesmaids recessed together.

As I said, it’s great if a representative from your DJ or band or whoever is doing the music for your ceremony can be there – as well as your venue contact, day of coordinator, or very helpful friend who will be lining the party up before hand. This is especially helpful if the bride and groom are NOT seeing each other before the ceremony – so you can figure out the logistics of them avoiding each other until their big moments!

The Happy Bridal Party, right after the ceremony!

I don’t have a lot of photos of rehearsals, so the photos scattered through this entry are from my best friend’s wedding in June, when the boyfriend acted as my official photographer for all wedding related events. Afterwards, we went out for a great dinner of pizza and beer at a very cool restaurant that was full of used books – and everyone got to take home two of their own! What a fun rehearsal dinner.

When I’m writing a wedding ceremony, and want to include someone else’s words, that first things I think about are, “What is the theme of this wedding?”

Finding Words to Fit Inspiration
I’m not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going on – I consider the relationship of the couple, the love story, their sense of humor.

I did a wedding that took place in the couple’s backyard – they were all about family, about turning their house into a home for their family.  I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony.  And I found the perfect quote!

Jeannie & Tom's beautiful backyard wedding

As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives.  This love is what makes their house into a home.

I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, and authors are – and who their heroes are as well.  This gives me another jumping off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.

Let me give you an example – in a recent wedding I did, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln.  I don’t think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in the wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple – and included it in the end of their love story.

And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

As the bride’s love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote, too.

Finding Inspiration from Words
Often times, couples will tell me of a poem or reading they would like to incorporate as well – and I often use these as ways to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke.  It’s kind of the backwards version of when I search for a quote – instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and THEN find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme, and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony.  It’s kind of like the wordy version of those wedding inspiration boards – a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.

I had a bride this past summer who came to her meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony.  They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no Love Story.  I adapted the passages into their Love Story, relating it to their relationship and their lives.  It worked out really well.

A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person – it is being the right partner.

Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other.  Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration.  Her selflessness, big heart, and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.

The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams.  She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her, and protects her.  She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is – whatever it takes.

Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person – you have found your perfect partner.  It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other, and to witness your marriage today.

Joe & Lynn's Love Story

I love that passage – it’s in my Celebrant arsenal – I like to use it in my closing remarks.  Thanks, Lynn!

Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony
You’ve probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding – add a reader to your program.  This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends, or bridal party members into your ceremony.  Make sure that you’ve told them before hand that they’re going to be reading, and, if at all possible, send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with it!

I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don’t have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse.  Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table – it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don’t have to worry about that extra piece of paper.

The Matron of Honor reads e.e. cummings

As I’ve mentioned, if the couple doesn’t want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself – perhaps in the Love Story or the closing remarks.  I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn’t feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.

You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs, or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have your theme of your ceremony expand throughout your wedding.

Something I love is to include them in your vows.  I recently found a poem that just took my breathe away – and made me cry each time I read it.  It spoke really clearly to me, and I’ve tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows (and I can’t share it here because I know he reads my blog!).

And please, as always, feel free to think outside of the box!  I’ve had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows – or read song lyrics like a poem – or put a poem to music! – recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!).  The possibilities of including other people’s words in your ceremony are near endless, and incredibly inspiring.  Start your own quote collection today!

I’ve chosen these organizations, though would be willing to donate to any worthy organization of the couple’s choice.  I think this is a great way to give back, especially in these tough times, when organizations like these are especially needed – especially on the local level.

The Bergen County Animal Shelter

The Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey

American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey

New Jersey Humanist Network

In its inaugural year, the Bride’s Choice Awards recognizes vendors from the WeddingWire Network that demonstrate excellent quality of service, responsiveness, professionalism, value of cost and flexibility. Unlike other awards in which winners are selected by the company, the Bride’s Choice Awards are determined exclusively by recent newlyweds (brides and grooms) through surveys and reviews. Our winning vendors have set the bar high for this competition, demonstrating excellent service and expertise in their industry.

This year’s recipients represent the top three percent of WeddingWire’s vendor community, which includes over 100,000 wedding vendors from across the US.

It means so much to me that my couples are happy with their wedding ceremonies, and their Celebrant experience.  Thank you all so much!

Here are a few of my favorite wedding blogs.

Planning your wedding on a budget? Sara of 2000 dollar wedding made it happen, and continues to update with ideas and ways to fit your dream wedding into a the money you have in your pocket. She also wrote a really fabulous, in depth post about how she created her ceremony – one of the most unique ceremonies I’ve ever seen!

OffBeat Bride is another one of my favorites – just when I think I’m beginning to think outside the box, Ariel takes it another step.  If you haven’t read OffBeat Bride – you really have to – it’s a fabulous resource on really making your entire wedding your own (and not going broke doing it!).

WeddingBee is updated by a number of woman currently planning their weddings, and afterwards as well – one of my favorite reads are the incredibly detailed, multi-post wedding recaps – they keep me tuned to the page to see the newest installment of my favorite Bee Bloggers!

WeddingBee PRO is a new site, launched in December, where a variety of vendors come together to blog their own special kind of wedding inspiration – beautiful invitations, floral arrangements, photographers.

BridalBuds is a new website with a similar structure of WeddingBee – a number of brides blog their wedding updates.

WeddingAces is vendor and expert wedding advice – wonderful inspiration and ideas for your wedding!

I just LOVE looking at the cakes from Pink Cake Box!  And they’re in NJ, too!

snippet & ink is inspiration galore, with tons of inspiration boards – and once you’re there, go ahead and make your own with Polyvore!

What’s your favorite wedding blog?

They really wanted a sentimental, touching, and funny ceremony, without getting too mushy.  I think their Love Story really captured the wonderful love they have between them, and celebrated who they were.  Layla gave me a special “checklist” that a friend had given her, as potential ways to check out a new guy’s history, and I opened with it:

Many years ago, a friend of Layla’s wrote a special screening checklist for her potential dates.  This list included many gems of advice, including:

Number 1: Check guy’s psych history.
Number 4: Check his walls/photo albums for signs of obsessiveness.

But, the most important, was number 7:  Above all, settle for nothing.  Layla took this very important advice to heart, and it led her to her soul mate, as you see them before you today.

"You will always and forever be new to ME, you will forever be my REAL LOVE."

Layla & Lewis chose to write their own vows.  It was their moment to really have fun and open up to each other, in front of their family and friends, and they did a fabulous job.  Layla used a reading from the Velveteen Rabbit in her vows – telling Lewis that his love is what makes her REAL.  Lewis said that one of his favorite activities is making Layla smile – and requested that she let him do that forever.

Lewis getting his vows!

Matron of Honor Jamie reads e.e. cummings

Their ceremony also included a reading by the Matron of Honor (e.e. cumming’s “i carry your heart”) and a handfasting.

The couple during their handfasting

Wrapping Layla & Lewis hands with the handfasting cord

Layla & Lewis are expecting their first child in March, and got engaged in November, putting their wedding together in just two months!  I couldn’t believe it!

You guys rock.  I had SO much fun.  Congratulations again!

Please click here to see more photos from Layla & Lewis’ ceremony

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