It’s amazing the strong connection we can have with words. I’m a deep lover of words – I collect poems and quotes, and firmly believe in their power to uplift and inspire. Incorporating someone else’s words, a favorite piece of poetry, or selection from a novel is a great way to personalize your ceremony, as well as imbue it with that wonderful feeling and strong emotion that only the well written word can instill.
When I’m writing a wedding ceremony, and want to include someone else’s words, that first things I think about are, “What is the theme of this wedding?”
Finding Words to Fit Inspiration
I’m not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going on – I consider the relationship of the couple, the love story, their sense of humor.
I did a wedding that took place in the couple’s backyard – they were all about family, about turning their house into a home for their family. I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony. And I found the perfect quote!
Jeannie & Tom's beautiful backyard wedding
As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives. This love is what makes their house into a home.
I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, and authors are – and who their heroes are as well. This gives me another jumping off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.
Let me give you an example – in a recent wedding I did, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln. I don’t think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in the wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple – and included it in the end of their love story.
And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
As the bride’s love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote, too.
Finding Inspiration from Words
Often times, couples will tell me of a poem or reading they would like to incorporate as well – and I often use these as ways to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke. It’s kind of the backwards version of when I search for a quote – instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and THEN find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme, and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony. It’s kind of like the wordy version of those wedding inspiration boards – a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.
I had a bride this past summer who came to her meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony. They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no Love Story. I adapted the passages into their Love Story, relating it to their relationship and their lives. It worked out really well.
A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person – it is being the right partner.Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other. Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration. Her selflessness, big heart, and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.
The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams. She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her, and protects her. She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is – whatever it takes.
Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person – you have found your perfect partner. It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other, and to witness your marriage today.
Joe & Lynn's Love Story
I love that passage – it’s in my Celebrant arsenal – I like to use it in my closing remarks. Thanks, Lynn!
Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony
You’ve probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding – add a reader to your program. This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends, or bridal party members into your ceremony. Make sure that you’ve told them before hand that they’re going to be reading, and, if at all possible, send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with it!
I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don’t have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse. Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table – it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don’t have to worry about that extra piece of paper.
The Matron of Honor reads e.e. cummings
As I’ve mentioned, if the couple doesn’t want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself – perhaps in the Love Story or the closing remarks. I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn’t feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.
You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs, or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have your theme of your ceremony expand throughout your wedding.
Something I love is to include them in your vows. I recently found a poem that just took my breathe away – and made me cry each time I read it. It spoke really clearly to me, and I’ve tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows (and I can’t share it here because I know he reads my blog!).
And please, as always, feel free to think outside of the box! I’ve had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows – or read song lyrics like a poem – or put a poem to music! – recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!). The possibilities of including other people’s words in your ceremony are near endless, and incredibly inspiring. Start your own quote collection today!
I’ve decided that, beginning with my 2009 weddings, to donate a portion of my Celebrant fee to an organization of the couple’s choosing, in their name. I think it’s a great way to honor your wedding, as well as give back to these fabulous local organizations that need our support.
I’ve chosen these organizations, though would be willing to donate to any worthy organization of the couple’s choice. I think this is a great way to give back, especially in these tough times, when organizations like these are especially needed – especially on the local level.
The Bergen County Animal Shelter
The Epilepsy Foundation of New Jersey
American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey
I was really excited to learn that I earned a Bride’s Choice Award from WeddingWire!
In its inaugural year, the Bride’s Choice Awards recognizes vendors from the WeddingWire Network that demonstrate excellent quality of service, responsiveness, professionalism, value of cost and flexibility. Unlike other awards in which winners are selected by the company, the Bride’s Choice Awards are determined exclusively by recent newlyweds (brides and grooms) through surveys and reviews. Our winning vendors have set the bar high for this competition, demonstrating excellent service and expertise in their industry.
This year’s recipients represent the top three percent of WeddingWire’s vendor community, which includes over 100,000 wedding vendors from across the US.
It means so much to me that my couples are happy with their wedding ceremonies, and their Celebrant experience. Thank you all so much!
I’m blog obsessed. I used Bloglines to keep track of the blogs that I read, and it helps when I’m looking for some knitting, cooking, crafting, or wedding inspiration – there seriously is a blog for EVERYTHING out there now!
Here are a few of my favorite wedding blogs.
Planning your wedding on a budget? Sara of 2000 dollar wedding made it happen, and continues to update with ideas and ways to fit your dream wedding into a the money you have in your pocket. She also wrote a really fabulous, in depth post about how she created her ceremony – one of the most unique ceremonies I’ve ever seen!
OffBeat Bride is another one of my favorites – just when I think I’m beginning to think outside the box, Ariel takes it another step. If you haven’t read OffBeat Bride – you really have to – it’s a fabulous resource on really making your entire wedding your own (and not going broke doing it!).
WeddingBee is updated by a number of woman currently planning their weddings, and afterwards as well – one of my favorite reads are the incredibly detailed, multi-post wedding recaps – they keep me tuned to the page to see the newest installment of my favorite Bee Bloggers!
WeddingBee PRO is a new site, launched in December, where a variety of vendors come together to blog their own special kind of wedding inspiration – beautiful invitations, floral arrangements, photographers.
BridalBuds is a new website with a similar structure of WeddingBee – a number of brides blog their wedding updates.
WeddingAces is vendor and expert wedding advice – wonderful inspiration and ideas for your wedding!
I just LOVE looking at the cakes from Pink Cake Box! And they’re in NJ, too!
snippet & ink is inspiration galore, with tons of inspiration boards – and once you’re there, go ahead and make your own with Polyvore!
What’s your favorite wedding blog?
Layla & Lewis were married recently at the Valley Brook Golf Club in River Vale, NJ. I had so much fun getting to know them and learning their story. They also introduced me to a GREAT Greek restaurant – After Athens in Rutherford – two blocks from my apartment that I hadn’t been to – it has the most fabulous chai!
They really wanted a sentimental, touching, and funny ceremony, without getting too mushy. I think their Love Story really captured the wonderful love they have between them, and celebrated who they were. Layla gave me a special “checklist” that a friend had given her, as potential ways to check out a new guy’s history, and I opened with it:
Many years ago, a friend of Layla’s wrote a special screening checklist for her potential dates. This list included many gems of advice, including:
Number 1: Check guy’s psych history.
Number 4: Check his walls/photo albums for signs of obsessiveness.
But, the most important, was number 7: Above all, settle for nothing. Layla took this very important advice to heart, and it led her to her soul mate, as you see them before you today.
"You will always and forever be new to ME, you will forever be my REAL LOVE."
Layla & Lewis chose to write their own vows. It was their moment to really have fun and open up to each other, in front of their family and friends, and they did a fabulous job. Layla used a reading from the Velveteen Rabbit in her vows – telling Lewis that his love is what makes her REAL. Lewis said that one of his favorite activities is making Layla smile – and requested that she let him do that forever.
Lewis getting his vows!
Matron of Honor Jamie reads e.e. cummings
Their ceremony also included a reading by the Matron of Honor (e.e. cumming’s “i carry your heart”) and a handfasting.
The couple during their handfasting
Wrapping Layla & Lewis hands with the handfasting cord
Layla & Lewis are expecting their first child in March, and got engaged in November, putting their wedding together in just two months! I couldn’t believe it!
You guys rock. I had SO much fun. Congratulations again!
Please click here to see more photos from Layla & Lewis’ ceremony
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