I went down to the Abraham Staats House, in South Bound Brook, New Jersey, this past weekend, for the wedding of Stephanie and Gordon (you may remember their awesome wedding invitations!). They were married in this amazing historic home, built c. 1740. The Staats House doesn’t normally do weddings, but for Stephanie and Gordon, two history buffs and members of the Friends of the Abraham Staats House, were able to pull it off!
Photo courtesy of the bride & groom
It was a very intimate wedding, with only about 25-30 people there. There was no bridal party – Gordon and I entered first, then Linda Russell played as Stephanie entered, wearing an amazing black cocktail dress and a beautiful birdcage veil! They were married in front of the fireplace, filled with flickering (LED!) candles, in the South Parlor.
Gordon's Vows
Gordon wrote some more traditional “I do!” vows for them, but the prefaced them with personal vows of their own – where they cited private jokes, and expressed how much they truly love each other. Though there was a ton of laughter and a light air to their ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the house! After their vows, they both leaned forward to kiss – and immediately stopped themselves! But you know what – if you want to kiss during your wedding ceremony – kiss! It was a sweet, romantic, and spontaneous moment!
I ALWAYS bring tissues... but I had only brought ONE to their wedding. Thankfully, family members in the front row had some more to share!
Stephanie & Gordon’s young friend Lilli was their ring bearer, and brought the rings to the front of the room, tied to a book (the theme of their wedding). They also incorporated a handfasting, with a bright red ribbon.
The rings, on the ring-bearing book.
The Handfasting
This was my first wedding of the Spring, and one of my favorites, hands down!
A selection from their Love Story:
On their first date, Gordon decided to do something a little different, and asked Stephanie to attend his monthly amateur astronomer’s club meeting. Afterwards, they made their way to a blues club, where, with some good music and a few drinks, our couple was able to loosen up and get to know each other. Stephanie left the next day to go up to Albany for the weekend, but it didn’t take long for her to hear from Gordon – “Instead of following ‘the rules’ and waiting several days to call, I really liked that there was a message on my machine when I came back Sunday night,” she recalls.
Our bride and groom have proved their love for each other in a million tiny ways, every single day. When Stephanie threw a coat over her pajamas to rescue a stranded Gordon from the side of Route 22 on a rainy Friday night – when Gordon scrapes the ice and snow off of Stephanie’s car on cold mornings – every simple action that they do shows the other how important they are, how treasured, and how much a part of their lives they have become. It is on that note that we have come together today – not to validate a relationship between these two people, but to expand on the wonderful relationship they already share.
If you’d like to see some more photos, check out Stephanie & Gordon’s extended gallery!
Rehearsal Dinners are always a blast. More low-key than the wedding dinner the next day, everyone’s super excited for the upcoming nuptials, and it allows the bride, groom, bridal party, and parents some quality time to relax, eat some good food, and have a fabulous time before the big day!
But sometimes people forget about the actual purpose behind the Rehearsal Dinner – the Rehearsal! It’s an important element of the wedding ceremony, and can really help to alleviate stress on the day of the wedding.
I don’t always suggest having a rehearsal – if you’re having a very straightforward wedding ceremony (no rituals or ceremonies in the ceremony itself, a minimal wedding party, no music changes or cues), it’s not always necessary. But I do recommend having a rehearsal if you have more than three people on each side of the wedding party, children involved in any way, shape or form, or any rituals or traditions that you may want to practice. It’s also a great way to have everyone in the wedding party know who everyone else is on the day of, which can make everything run really smoothly on your wedding day.
The whole bridal party! The people standing where "honored guests," like grandparents and parents, who walked down the aisle and then were seated.
My rehearsals usually last about 45 minutes – much longer than the actual wedding ceremony! I usually begin by introducing myself, and giving a brief explanation of what we’re going to be doing. I love when the bridal party will introduce themselves, as it makes it easier for me to know who everyone is!
The Bride & Groom practice breaking the glass!
We start by practicing the processional. Everyone lines up in the order that they’re going to enter in. It usually helps if your day of coordinator, venue contact, or very helpful friend can be there to make sure everyone is lined up. If the DJ or band can be there, awesome – if not, we’ll practice without music (and I’ll make sure to go over the cues with them before the ceremony the next day). I’ll show everyone where I am going to stand at the front, and then we’ll start walking!
The Bridesmaids, all lined up
Once everyone gets to the front, we can figure out how everyone is going to stand, so people can know where they’re supposed to go. The great thing about rehearsals is how casual they are! People can be shifted and moved and changed to make sure everything is just perfect at the front.
Practicing the Rings
We can also establish how the bride and groom will stand in relation to the officiant – I prefer my couples to face each other, or (ideally) face catty corner, slightly out towards their friends and family. You get great photos this way, can see each others’ faces, and you don’t have to stare at me the entire time (believe me, I’m not going anywhere).
The bride & groom show the bridesmaids where to stand
We’ll run through the ceremony (quickly – “cue to cue,” so to speak), then practice the kiss (yay!) and the recessional.
Then we do it all again! Just to make sure everyone knows where to go.
Practicing the Recessional: Her groomsman partner couldn't make it to the rehearsal.
Practicing the Recessional: A groomsmen had to drop out of the wedding, so two bridesmaids recessed together.
As I said, it’s great if a representative from your DJ or band or whoever is doing the music for your ceremony can be there – as well as your venue contact, day of coordinator, or very helpful friend who will be lining the party up before hand. This is especially helpful if the bride and groom are NOT seeing each other before the ceremony – so you can figure out the logistics of them avoiding each other until their big moments!
The Happy Bridal Party, right after the ceremony!
I don’t have a lot of photos of rehearsals, so the photos scattered through this entry are from my best friend’s wedding in June, when the boyfriend acted as my official photographer for all wedding related events. Afterwards, we went out for a great dinner of pizza and beer at a very cool restaurant that was full of used books – and everyone got to take home two of their own! What a fun rehearsal dinner.
It’s amazing the strong connection we can have with words. I’m a deep lover of words – I collect poems and quotes, and firmly believe in their power to uplift and inspire. Incorporating someone else’s words, a favorite piece of poetry, or selection from a novel is a great way to personalize your ceremony, as well as imbue it with that wonderful feeling and strong emotion that only the well written word can instill.
When I’m writing a wedding ceremony, and want to include someone else’s words, that first things I think about are, “What is the theme of this wedding?”
Finding Words to Fit Inspiration
I’m not just considering the actual theme of the wedding, as the bride and groom have set forth (like Autumn, Rock & Roll, Vintage Glam, Renaissance, Literature), but the direction that I see the ceremony going on – I consider the relationship of the couple, the love story, their sense of humor.
I did a wedding that took place in the couple’s backyard – they were all about family, about turning their house into a home for their family. I immediately jumped online and began searching to find some quotes that I could use in their ceremony. And I found the perfect quote!
Jeannie & Tom's beautiful backyard wedding
As someone once said, “It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.” Tom and Jeannie have opened their hearts not only to each other, but to everyone in their lives. This love is what makes their house into a home.
I always ask my couples who their favorite artists, performers, and authors are – and who their heroes are as well. This gives me another jumping off point to find beautiful words that really fit well with the rest of the ceremony.
Let me give you an example – in a recent wedding I did, the bride told me she loves Abraham Lincoln. I don’t think most people would think to include a quote by President Lincoln in the wedding ceremony, but I found this lovely quote that felt very much like the couple – and included it in the end of their love story.
And in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
As the bride’s love for President Lincoln was a bit of an inside joke, I got a few laughs with the quote, too.
Finding Inspiration from Words
Often times, couples will tell me of a poem or reading they would like to incorporate as well – and I often use these as ways to extrapolate the theme of the ceremony, the overall feeling that the couple would like their wedding to evoke. It’s kind of the backwards version of when I search for a quote – instead of trying to figure out the theme from the ceremony outline and THEN find a quote, I take the quote, find the theme, and keep that in mind when writing the ceremony. It’s kind of like the wordy version of those wedding inspiration boards – a poem or reading suggestion can help me better understand what a couple is looking for.
I had a bride this past summer who came to her meeting with two passages she just loved and wanted to include in her ceremony. They also wanted a very short ceremony, with little to no Love Story. I adapted the passages into their Love Story, relating it to their relationship and their lives. It worked out really well.
A good marriage must be created.
In a marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is not only marrying the right person – it is being the right partner.Lynn and Joe have clearly found the right partner in each other. Joe says that Lynn is his inspiration. Her selflessness, big heart, and drive to help others never ceases to amaze him.
The love and support that Lynn receives from Joe have been above and beyond her wildest dreams. She admires the way he cares for her, provides for her, and protects her. She says that he is always willing to help others, through good and bad, no matter how tough it is – whatever it takes.
Joe and Lynn, today you are marrying the right person – you have found your perfect partner. It brings us immense happiness to see that you have found each other, and to witness your marriage today.
Joe & Lynn's Love Story
I love that passage – it’s in my Celebrant arsenal – I like to use it in my closing remarks. Thanks, Lynn!
Ways to Include Words in Your Ceremony
You’ve probably heard of the old standard to include poetry or a text selection in your wedding – add a reader to your program. This is an especially nice way to include family members, close friends, or bridal party members into your ceremony. Make sure that you’ve told them before hand that they’re going to be reading, and, if at all possible, send them a copy via email so they can become familiar with it!
I always bring a copy for the readers, so they don’t have to worry about folding a piece of paper and sticking it in their pockets or purse. Talk to your officiant about it, or see if you can leave a copy at the front, on your props table – it makes everything run much more smoothly if they don’t have to worry about that extra piece of paper.
The Matron of Honor reads e.e. cummings
As I’ve mentioned, if the couple doesn’t want to have a reader, I will often use the selection in the ceremony itself – perhaps in the Love Story or the closing remarks. I like to weave it seamlessly into the ceremony, so it doesn’t feel weird to have me all of a sudden speaking in verse or reciting Shakespearean sonnets.
You can also include a quote or short poem in your programs, or even on your invitations! This is a really nice way to have your theme of your ceremony expand throughout your wedding.
Something I love is to include them in your vows. I recently found a poem that just took my breathe away – and made me cry each time I read it. It spoke really clearly to me, and I’ve tucked it away to use in my own wedding vows (and I can’t share it here because I know he reads my blog!).
And please, as always, feel free to think outside of the box! I’ve had couples incorporate song quotes from musicals in their vows – or read song lyrics like a poem – or put a poem to music! – recite a passage in two languages (a great way to have a bilingual touch to your ceremony!). The possibilities of including other people’s words in your ceremony are near endless, and incredibly inspiring. Start your own quote collection today!
For anyone thinking of eloping to New York City or those New Yorkers or New Yorkers at heart who have thought about getting married at the top of the Empire State Building…
Well, you’re out of luck. The Empire State Building no longer hosts private events or weddings.
Except once a year – this year, 14 lucky couples will be married on top of the Empire State Building, through a contest run with Brides.com. And you can watch them live!
More information is over on Brides.com. If you’re looking for a little romantic inspiration on Saturday.. why not watch the weddings? Or take a look and see how they transformed the top of the building into a beautiful wedding site? Or read about the romantic proposals and love stories of the couples being married?
Bonus V-Day Info: If you’re looking for some super cute Valentine’s Day cards to print and send toyour loved ones or friends, check out these free cards from The Black Apple – she posted them last year, but they’re still up there! The High-Res PDF prints up really well – I printed them out on some card stock, cut them out, and sent them to a friend for a Valentine’s Day suprise.
from http://theblackapple.typepad.com/
Have a very happy and love filled Valentine’s Day!!
I was really excited to learn that I earned a Bride’s Choice Award from WeddingWire!
In its inaugural year, the Bride’s Choice Awards recognizes vendors from the WeddingWire Network that demonstrate excellent quality of service, responsiveness, professionalism, value of cost and flexibility. Unlike other awards in which winners are selected by the company, the Bride’s Choice Awards are determined exclusively by recent newlyweds (brides and grooms) through surveys and reviews. Our winning vendors have set the bar high for this competition, demonstrating excellent service and expertise in their industry.
This year’s recipients represent the top three percent of WeddingWire’s vendor community, which includes over 100,000 wedding vendors from across the US.
It means so much to me that my couples are happy with their wedding ceremonies, and their Celebrant experience. Thank you all so much!
