Blake found me through the LiveJournal Wedding Plans community, where I’m an active member, planning my own wedding. She was planning her wedding long distance – she and her husband live in California, but were marrying in New Jersey. I met up with Blake a few times prior to the wedding, whenever she was in town, and together we created a sweet and fun wedding ceremony.
We got a beautiful morning for their beach ceremony, taking place at Merri-Maker’s on the Water’s Edge in Sea Bright. We included a ring warming, passing their wedding rings through all of the guests gathered, to bless and imbue them with well wishes and happy thoughts for the couple’s marriage – special vows for their parents, and special vows for the guests – a wine ceremony – and a breaking of the glass.
The parents join us, for their own special vows in support of their children’s marriage.
My favorite piece of their Love Story came from an anecdote that Blake told me…
Blake soon knew that there was something very special between them – because they were flavor compatible. Now, let me explain this to you a little bit. You know when you buy a box of ice pops or a bag of assorted candy, and there are always one or two flavors that are left at the end, because you just don’t like them? Well, Jason’s go to flavors are orange and grape – which are Blake’s least favorites, the ones she would always leave at the bottom of the bag. When Blake realized that they were “Flavor Complementary,” she knew that Jason was a keeper.
And Jason, who had chosen the wine for the wine sharing, was SO excited to enjoy a glass! Afterwards, he sipped the rest of the wine as they took their portraits together, too.
And my favorite surprise? They had a keyboardist for their processional and recessional – and they recessed out to the “Legend of Zelda” theme. How awesome is that?
Blake and Jason, I had SO much fun with you both. Thanks for letting me be a part of your wedding!
Handing off the rings for the ring warming, at the beginning of the ceremony.
Visit their extended gallery on Flickr for more!
By popular demand – here it is – Basic Wedding Ceremony Structure 101.
This is the bare bones outline that I use when I’m working with couples to write their wedding ceremony. In our first meeting, I take it out, talk through it, explaining significance and meaning between the various rituals and traditions, answer lots of questions and ask some of my own. From the basic outline, we dive into the whole world of wedding ceremonies – but having that nice firm diving board in the ceremony structure really helps to prepare and better understand where we’re going. As I like to say – we can add anything in, we can take anything out. But I find that sticking to the basic structure helps your guests “follow along” a little more easily, and not get lost in a more unusual ceremony.
This is what works for me – definitely check with the state you are getting married in to make sure that you include any legal requirements for a wedding (in some states, at one point, the bride and groom need to verbally agree to be married [The I Do's], and there may be specific wording that your officiant will have to use to declare you married). Take from it what you need, and leave the rest out – when it comes down to it – this is your wedding after all!
I don’t do a lot of weddings that include ALL of these – three full readings, three plus rituals – it’s much more of a guide than a list of things you need to include.
If anyone has any questions – post them in the comments! I’ll be sure to answer them there, so we can all share from each others ideas!
Wedding Ceremony Structure 101
Welcoming of the Guests.
I enter, usually as the first person in the processional, or I am already standing at the front. I thank everyone for joining us, and ask them to turn off their cell phones!
Processional.
The entrance of the bridal party (that’s a whole other post!).
Introduction:
In my intro, I welcome the bride and groom to their wedding celebration. I usually say a few words of special thanks to the person who escorted the couple down the aisle (a twist on the “giving away”). Using the bride and groom’s own words and information, I do a special thanks for the guests and family.
Any special rituals or traditions as a special thank you to family members would go here. A popular choice is the flower presentation to the mothers.
If my couple wants to include remembrances, this is where I include them – a brief moment of silence, lighting of a candle, a wine toast, or just me mentioning that they are in our hearts and lives, today and everyday. I find at this point it doesn’t bring down the tone of the ceremony too much.
Reading.
There are a few places for readings, either by your officiant or a reader, scattered throughout the ceremony. I often incorporate pieces of readings into the ceremony itself (the Love Story, Closing Remarks, and Introduction). Not everyone chooses to include readings in their ceremony. I like to break up the readings, not having guests come up one after the other to read – it provides a bit more interest and also helps to break up the ceremony so your officiant isn’t just gabbing the whole time! I think making ceremonies as “interactive” as possible is really important.
Love Story, or Address.
For my couples, I write an original Love Story – the story of them, their relationship (how they met, how they fell in love, all of that fun stuff). I always end it with what they love about each other, and their hopes and dreams for the future. They’re always funny and touching, and incredibly personalized for each wedding I do.
Sometimes, the couple prefers not to have a Love Story, and I will do a reading here, one that has a tone that fits the wedding, and share some personal comments connecting the reading to the bride and groom’s relationship and marriage.
For a more traditional wedding, this is where the sermon or homily would go.
The Asking.
This is the “I do!” part of a wedding. I have the couple turn towards one another, take hands, and I ask them some very important questions about marriage. If they agree to them – they say some kind of positive affirmation (Yes! I do! Thumbs Up!). Sometimes, I have couples who will write these themselves, and combine them with the vows.
Wine Ceremony or Other Unity Ritual.
This is the place for a unity ritual that symbolizes the life that the bride and groom will share together. Wine ceremonies, presentation of gifts or flowers to each other, tree planting – those are the kind of rituals that go at this point.
Vows.
Either read by the bride and the groom to each other, or done “repeat after me” style with the officiant.
Reading.
Ring Ceremony.
Short ring vows are usually chosen to repeat as the bride and groom place the ring on each other’s fingers.
Unity Ritual.
Any unity ritual that symbolizes the bride and groom joining together or the merging and blending of two families would go here. Unity candles, sand ceremonies, hand fasting, garland exchanges, signing of a marriage license.
Reading.
Closing Remarks.
A final blessing could go here as well. I like to bring back important elements of the Love Story, or include a short poem or advice. In a Jewish inspired wedding, I would include a version of the seven blessings here.
Declaration of Marriage.
The bride and groom are declared husband and wife. AND THEN THEY KISS!
Breaking of the Glass / Jumping the Broom.
There are a few rituals that take place right AFTER the declaration of marriage.
Recessional.
I’ll talk about this with my processional post – but basically, the bride and groom exit, go out, and party!!
I’ve had a personal account on Facebook since 2004 (eek), but just put a public page together for Eclectic Unions! Feel free to go over and become a fan!
I love mail. I love checking my mail box every day, I love hand labeling envelopes, I love going to the post office… it’s just one of my quirks!
I must admit, when I read about the postal hikes, I was a little sad that I couldn’t use the fun little 2008 love stamps anymore! I just adore this little guy, carrying that huge heart. So cute!
And then I saw the new wedding stamps for 2009… and my heart sank. I just hate the photograph of the rings… I really miss the lovely little green intertwined heart!
2008
2009
I’ve been watching the USPS website, waiting to see what the new Love stamps would look like… and they were announced this past Friday! I was not disappointed!
On May 8, 2009, in Washington, DC, the Postal Service™ will issue a 44–cent, Love: King and Queen of Hearts definitive stamp with two different designs in a convertible booklet of 20 stamps. The stamp was designed by Derry Noyes of Washington, DC, and Jeanne Greco of New York, New York.
Since the beginning of its popular Love stamps in 1973, the U.S. Postal Service® is paying clever tribute to the world’s favorite “game” with the issuance of the King and Queen of Hearts, the latest stamps in the Love series. Artist Jeanne Greco, New York, New York, created the art on her computer for the two stamp designs, one showing the King and one showing the Queen, by using images from 18th Century French playing cards as a reference.
Over the years, the Love stamps have featured a wide variety of designs, including heart motifs, colorful flowers, and the word “LOVE” itself.
So, goodbye, little heart guy… hello, King & Queen of Hearts… I’m excited for you to begin gracing my correspondence!
Did you stock up on Forever stamps before the postal increase on May 11, or are you a stamp lover like me, and can’t wait for the new designs?
Meet Sarah and John.
They’re getting married at the Chesterwood Estate & Museum in Stockbridge, MA, in July (take a moment to check out their venue – isn’t it cool?).
I always say that the coolest people find me and ask me to lead their wedding ceremonies – and Sarah and John are no exception. In fact, I found Sarah - she’s a pretty awesome photographer, and I contacted her about photographing my wedding in October of 2010.
We met in January, and discussed weddings – both of ours (that’s the Celebrant in me, I guess, even when I’m supposed to be talking about my own wedding, I need to know about other bride’s ceremonies!). She and her fiance had a lot of really cool ideas of different rituals, ceremonies, and traditions to incorporate into their wedding, and it sounded like their wedding was going to be a blast!
So, a few months later – my fiance and I had decided that Sarah is the one to photograph our wedding. And then I get an email from her, asking me to officiate HER wedding! I didn’t have to hesitate before absolutely saying yes!
Sarah and John came into the whole process with some great ideas about what they wanted to include in their wedding ceremony. Some of the rituals and traditions I was familiar with and love (handfasting, readings), some I had heard of and am totally excited to do for the first time (seedling planting ceremony), and some that I had never even heard of before (Circle of Love with flowers, presentation of the ring by the moms, with a “blessing” by the parents).
They chose not to have a traditional wedding party, but are having their siblings and their significant others take part in the processional, and are each being walked down the aisle by their parents (in the vein of the Jewish tradition). There are even some surprises in store – they’re having three readers and letting them each choose the readings they’d like to use… but we’re going to keep them a secret from the bride & groom until the wedding ceremony!
I’m so excited to begin putting their wedding ceremony together – I think it’s going to be something really amazing when it all comes together, something that really reflects Sarah & John’s commitment to each other, to their families, and to love 
‘Cause when it comes down to it.. isn’t it all about the love?
I’m going to be blogging my process on Sarah and John’s wedding, so you, my lovely blog readers, can follow along at home and see all of the fun research, prep, emails and planning that goes into creating and writing a wedding ceremony, and hopefully get some great ideas for your own ceremonies along the way. So, we’ll start from the beginning – with their outline and our first meeting and end in Western Massachusetts in mid-July. I can’t wait!
PS: Sarah recently did a wedding update on her blog, if you want to hear more about her current wedding plans! Loving the orange!
I went down to the Abraham Staats House, in South Bound Brook, New Jersey, this past weekend, for the wedding of Stephanie and Gordon (you may remember their awesome wedding invitations!). They were married in this amazing historic home, built c. 1740. The Staats House doesn’t normally do weddings, but for Stephanie and Gordon, two history buffs and members of the Friends of the Abraham Staats House, were able to pull it off!
Photo courtesy of the bride & groom
It was a very intimate wedding, with only about 25-30 people there. There was no bridal party – Gordon and I entered first, then Linda Russell played as Stephanie entered, wearing an amazing black cocktail dress and a beautiful birdcage veil! They were married in front of the fireplace, filled with flickering (LED!) candles, in the South Parlor.
Gordon's Vows
Gordon wrote some more traditional “I do!” vows for them, but the prefaced them with personal vows of their own – where they cited private jokes, and expressed how much they truly love each other. Though there was a ton of laughter and a light air to their ceremony, there was not a dry eye in the house! After their vows, they both leaned forward to kiss – and immediately stopped themselves! But you know what – if you want to kiss during your wedding ceremony – kiss! It was a sweet, romantic, and spontaneous moment!
I ALWAYS bring tissues... but I had only brought ONE to their wedding. Thankfully, family members in the front row had some more to share!
Stephanie & Gordon’s young friend Lilli was their ring bearer, and brought the rings to the front of the room, tied to a book (the theme of their wedding). They also incorporated a handfasting, with a bright red ribbon.
The rings, on the ring-bearing book.
The Handfasting
This was my first wedding of the Spring, and one of my favorites, hands down!
A selection from their Love Story:
On their first date, Gordon decided to do something a little different, and asked Stephanie to attend his monthly amateur astronomer’s club meeting. Afterwards, they made their way to a blues club, where, with some good music and a few drinks, our couple was able to loosen up and get to know each other. Stephanie left the next day to go up to Albany for the weekend, but it didn’t take long for her to hear from Gordon – “Instead of following ‘the rules’ and waiting several days to call, I really liked that there was a message on my machine when I came back Sunday night,” she recalls.
Our bride and groom have proved their love for each other in a million tiny ways, every single day. When Stephanie threw a coat over her pajamas to rescue a stranded Gordon from the side of Route 22 on a rainy Friday night – when Gordon scrapes the ice and snow off of Stephanie’s car on cold mornings – every simple action that they do shows the other how important they are, how treasured, and how much a part of their lives they have become. It is on that note that we have come together today – not to validate a relationship between these two people, but to expand on the wonderful relationship they already share.
If you’d like to see some more photos, check out Stephanie & Gordon’s extended gallery!
Photo by Cindy Patrick
Photo by Cindy Patrick